Our youngest daughter showed us a trailer for a new movie named ‘Chronicle.’ She was fascinated with this newest adolescent X-men styled release; I was fascinated by the metaphorical message about adolescence.
From the very beginning we all struggle to have power over our personal space and the people who move in and out of it. From infancy through the various stages of the life cycle, we all struggle to have power over our personal space.
During the transition from childhood to adolescence, this struggle for power takes on a new dimension. The child begins to realize that he does have power over those who have, heretofore, exercised commanding power over him or her. Explosive rage can be extremely effective in helping the adults around back off because this kid is now capable of doing some serious damage if unchecked.
It is at this stage that parenting skills need to go through a signifiant transition. The natural reaction to raging children is to rage back at them to bring them back in line. When the child retreats the adult concludes that this must be an effective tool for controlling extreme behavior.
The mistake is significant at two levels. First, intimidation and the assertion of power through explosive rage is being taught and learned at the same time. Second, because a respected person is using it as a tool for managing others the child may accept this as a reasonable response to inappropriate behavior. It is not.
After seeing the movie it did, indeed, depict teens who have a new found power that came to them from outer space…a meteor or spaceship…it didn’t really matter in the story. Discovering that they can use their new-found power to do all kinds of things they now must exercise their ability to control it…if they are able. Will they use it to benefit those around them? Or will they use it for to satisfy their hunger for dominance over their surroundings?
In the end, isn’t this really the struggle of the every person who has come to realize that he or she now has physical power that can reinforce their desire for dominance ? For all of us, the challenge is to learn to master and control our anger, expressing it in more appropriate ways to bring about the best possible good for all concerned.
At the end of the movie trailer the question is asked: “what are you capable of?”
Perfect.
For families coping with anger and rage, the answer is, “A lot.”
For more information about the Effect of Anger on Families check out the website of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy under Consumer Updates.